Texting
by Piper Emerald
Summary: While Jack is randomly on the TARDIS, Amy and Rory use his phone to play a prank on both him and The Doctor. AU, oneshot. (I own nothing.) Card fic.


**Author's Note: Ok, so first off, I am writing this because Scarlet Phlame, Corliss Kat, llamapop, and I were playing cards, but instead off betting on money we bet on oneshots. Also, this (corny) story is based off of the four of us pretending to be characters from Doctor who, and me (pretending to be Jack) finding out how to text myself and make it look like the texts were from someone else. Some of the texts will have bad grammar or no punctuations, but all of the them were conversations that I actually had...with myself. Well, everything said by Amy and Rory was from Scarlet Phlame (who took my phone to text my imaginary friend).**

* * *

The Doctor whirled around the TARDIS consul, talking at full speed, even though no one could understand him. Today had been a relatively boring day, which was a first for Amy and Rory. Amy knew that The Doctor could get rather cranky when he was bored. Captain Jack Harkness, who The Doctor had let join them aboard the TARDIS for the day, wasn't even pretending to pay attention to what was going on.

"Alright," The Doctor said, clasping his hands together. "As I was saying-Jack what are you doing?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing." Jack set down the phone that he had been looking at. The Doctor muttered something about humans and their cellphones, then continued to what he had been saying before. Jack didn't see Amy picking up his phone.

He didn't have a password, mistake number one. Apparently he had been texting someone named Ianto. She took this opportunity to try to play a prank on both Jack and The Doctor.

_I'm the doctor_, she typed,_ and I will find u_

Rory looked over her shoulder as she pressed send. He took the phone, and added: _I'm the oncoming storm, I am feared by every man woman child and noseless dog from Barcelona_

_Ok..._ Was the response. _Jack, what's going on?_

_I am the doctor_, Rory typed, Amy took the phone back. _I will find you. I will always find u. And I mean that in a completely stalkerish way_

Rory and Amy didn't notice that Jack and The Doctor had noticed them until the phone had been pulled out of Rory's hands. Jack took one look at the texts and burst in laughter. He handed his phone to The Doctor, who turned a slight shade of pink when he read what they had said. He gave Jack back his phone, and walked away. Amy and Rory join Jack in laughter.

Jack's phone buzzed with another text. _What's going on?_ It read.

_This is Jack. Sorry about that._ He wrote back.

_That's the doctor? Really?_ Was the instant reply.

_No, it was his companion pretending to be him_, Jack quickly replied.

* * *

Ianto and Gwen weren't exactly sure what to do for the rest of the day. Gwen was sitting at her desk, finishing off the third cup of coffee that she had in the past hour. "You know, Jack said that we could go home." Ianto told her, instinctively placing another cup on her desk.

"Yeah, but I just feel like somethings going to happen once I leave," she replied. "Besides, Rhys won't be home for another few hours, and I swear I'll go mad alone trying to watch the telly." Ianto nodded, he hadn't intended on leaving either.

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed. He sighed, giving it a half glance. _Hello? _It read several times. What was the point of Jack running off for the day if he was just going to text him every few minutes. He headed down to the archives, determined to get some work done.

_Hey, remember when everyone was saying 'hello' _Another text read. _That was stressful. Hello? _

_Are you ignoring me? _

_Hello? _

_Are you there?_

_Ianto Jones if you do not answer right now I am going to assume that some alien killed you!_

_Yes? _Ianto finally typed back. To his surprise there was no response. He waited a few minutes then said:_ You spend too much time spamming me, but once I answer you disappear._ Before going back to what he was doing.

* * *

"You just had to flirt with them didn't you," The Doctor muttered as he set pressed a few buttons on the TARDIS consul.

"Hey, I didn't think they'd be that offended," Jack raised his hands in the air. The Doctor just rolled his eyes.

Jack pulled his phone out of his coat pocket. _Sorry_... He typed, after reading Ianto's texts. _You there?_ He asked about a minute later.

_What?_ Was the response, and he could practically hear the annoyance that would have been in Ianto's voice.

_Nothing,_ he said back.

About an hour later his phone buzzed again. _It wasn't my fault! _Ianto had texted him.

_What? _Jack asked.

_Gwen is lying, it was her not me_

_So confused... _Jack responded, hoping that Ianto would take that as a hint to tell him what was going on.

_Jack this is Gwen _Ianto's contact said a few seconds later.

_Ok, what's going on?_ He pressed send, then added._ Didn't I give the both of you the day off?_ He hadn't expected Ianto to leave the Hub, but Gwen normally took her days off, considering she didn't get that many.

_Yes you did, _he could already tell that Gwen was taking this as an opportunity to change to subject._ By the way, how is your day going?_

_Gwen Cooper, are you stalling me?_

_Hold on, _Jack waited for a minute, but Gwen didn't say anything else.

_What? _There was no reply.

_Hello?_

_Gwen?!_

_Ianto?!_

_If I get back and Cardiff is in ashes..._

_Sorry about that, _Ianto's contact said._This is Ianto by the way,_ he added.

_Hey Yan, you gonna tell me what the hell is going on? _Jack, let a slight grin find it's way to his face, although he wasn't sure what had provoked it.

_Oh well Gwen set her computer on fire._ Jack's grin fell to the floor.

_What?_

_Sorry, _was Ianto's only response.

"That's it," Jack exclaimed. "I'm done with texting!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


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